This is part one of our Following Through series.
Do what you say! If you want to accomplish your life goals and build strong relationships, it’s really that simple. Following through on what we say builds trust with other people and raises our self-esteem.
We need to reduce how often we commit to something and don’t finish it. Unfortunately, lots of things can get in our way. What things? These things:
You’re spread too thin. Rushing. Letting people down. Everything feels like an obstacle.
Learn to say no to others. Understand what you want and protect your time.
Many atypicals are natural people pleasers. We seek validation from others because we lack a sense of internal validation. We believe our time isn’t valuable, and rush to give it away.
In fact, your time is valuable. The things you want are valid. Focus on the feeling you will have when you accomplish your goal. Not someone else’s goal. Don’t let your own flowers wilt because you’re watering someone else’s flowers. Tend your garden.
Practice saying no without strain. “No” is a statement of fact and inherently non-emotional. We often associate negative feelings with no. If anything, no is positive. When you say no to someone, you are protecting your time. You are saying yes to yourself and the commitments that are most important to you. Yes to your highest ideals. When you say no to yourself, you are banishing the maybe of saying yes to everything. Rather than an unconsidered yes, let them know you need to check your calendar. Ask them to send you an email with the details.
“I’d love to help, but I need to check my calendar first. Can you email me about this?”
This allows you to consider and prepare a response in a calm manner, free from external stress.
Say no to yourself
No is your power. Say no to yourself. Use it to cut out distraction. “No” defines your time.
Do the work of saying no and get to your most exciting yes. That work is an expression of self-love and appreciation for your own highest ideals. And it starts with saying no.
Oh, that’s a lot. Let’s make this a two or three parter. Talk to you soon.